more than a year on...
There are problems with prioritising logic above all else, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. For me, logic, or worse, rationality, is a rarity when it comes to girls. Which is odd – to say the least – since most of my life is predicated upon analysis. Analysis is everything, or so I used to say. Of course analysis need not necessarily or even primarily be concerned with logic; there are other factors such as objectivity, experience, empathy.
Recently I have been feeling bouts of despair, heartache, paranoia and betrayal, all sentiments in roughly equal measure. I think too often in my life I have not treasured people enough, and -almost- concomitantly treasured the wrong persons. Take Loo for example. We have been through so much, but I was too unforgiving and possessive about the girls close to me. Or Jia: we had a great thing, many say the best I would ever have, and I blew it. Now a new character, or ex character, in my life is causing mayhem, and both of these people are still there for me.
It is high time I stopped waiting for a message or a phone call, or for people to comfort me. To repeat a cliché, it is time to stop wallowing in self pity. I should revert to my analytical mode of thought, even when it comes to the complex psychology of love and human intercourse. Of course, there are problems with objective analysis in this area. But objectivity is not synonymous with rationality. The latter is what I should revert to: rational analysis.
Be rational, friend. That’s what I tell myself time and again, in the hope that words will crystallise into belief. The time has come to believe.
Recently I have been feeling bouts of despair, heartache, paranoia and betrayal, all sentiments in roughly equal measure. I think too often in my life I have not treasured people enough, and -almost- concomitantly treasured the wrong persons. Take Loo for example. We have been through so much, but I was too unforgiving and possessive about the girls close to me. Or Jia: we had a great thing, many say the best I would ever have, and I blew it. Now a new character, or ex character, in my life is causing mayhem, and both of these people are still there for me.
It is high time I stopped waiting for a message or a phone call, or for people to comfort me. To repeat a cliché, it is time to stop wallowing in self pity. I should revert to my analytical mode of thought, even when it comes to the complex psychology of love and human intercourse. Of course, there are problems with objective analysis in this area. But objectivity is not synonymous with rationality. The latter is what I should revert to: rational analysis.
Be rational, friend. That’s what I tell myself time and again, in the hope that words will crystallise into belief. The time has come to believe.
